Oh Where Did You Get That Hat?

Am I the only person in the world who regards people who wear hats with suspicion?

Before I go any further let me confess that yes I have been known to wear a hat myself on occasion. Those occasions are the sort of extremes of weather that we don't get much of in the British Isles. In the Winter in the cold & in the Summer under the Sun. In both scenarios I only wear a hat outside!

As an aside I once received a very good piece of advice (where from I can't recall). It was this - always beware of car drivers wearing hats. If you think about it this is correct. When do you usually see a driver with a hat on? There are two scenarios that come into my mind. One is a doddery old bloke driving his car at a steady twenty miles an hour. The second is the young lad in his souped up Nova who's just come up in your rear view mirror from nowhere.

Anyway as you probably know I'm a big fan of live music and it has to be said that you see a disproportional amount of hats at gigs. My view is that this type of behavior has more to do with 'personal statements' rather than the climate. Yes in this day and age wearing a hat is all about sending out a message. So what is this message? In general terms its telling you that the hat wearer is an individualistic person who has no time for convention. He is a wild and unpredictable person and doesn't follow fashion like lesser mortals instead he creates fashion. 

Of course there is another reason why men of a certain age suddenly take up wearing headgear; particularly in the youthful world of rock 'n' roll. That reason is male pattern baldness. An obvious example would be the Edge in U2. Can anyone recall the last time they saw him without a hat or scarf? What is he hiding up there? My guess is not a lot. Rather like Bobby Charlton's comb over I'm not sure if anyone is fooled by this behavior.

I must point out that I am only discussing the wearing of hats by the unfair sex (ie blokes). The rules about women wearing hats are much more complicated and I wouldn't like to get involved in such things which are well beyond my capacity to understand. Also I'm not badmouthing people who are required to wear headgear for their work for safety or hygiene reasons.

You can probably tell that I have an irrational dislike of people making fashion statements with hats. I'm not completely sure why. After all they are not harming me or causing me any grief (unless they are wearing a tall hat and sitting in front of me at the pictures - in which case my feelings would be more understandable).

There is one thing that irritates me more than hat wearing fashion victims and that is people who wear 'wacky hats'. I'm thinking here of those annoying jester hats worn at the football or those green top hats you see on St Patricks day.

So I think I need to sign off with my nomination for the most irritating hat wearer in the world and that person is Pete Doherty.